Breaking the pattern

If I die all my problems die with me. When death nears for that matter, all problems dissolve into the singularity of the so called problem of death. So one enquirers, is it possible to be dead while the body lives. To end the me that one has psychologically accumulated since birth as memories which continue in ones mind as thoughts. In my particular case I have a pattern of selected memories and thought that go on in repeat mode, the sickness, the desire to be something big without doing anything, the utter disinterest in all that goes on around me, the inability to screw someone without raising a finger, the ugliness of the physical form which doesn't draw any attention from the opposite sex, the isolation and loneliness without friends and the inability to break it, the bitterness towards an all knowing bully boss and the pathological body. Sometimes I am the job I do, the accolades I won, the pleasures I head, but most of the time it's the other things.
Having recognized them as repeating thoughts registered in memory, can they be got rid of? And what would I be without them? Would I be an awareness floating in the vast nothingness, staring at everything like an animal or new born baby? Does it threaten me so much that I hold on to this unpleasant story, which compares with all other stories to place itself at a better place.
Is this all just an idea and a new thought by watching a lot of new age stuff on Youtube, to reinforce the me or is there anything there when the self ends other than the awareness of the vastness in which there is boredom and lack of purpose. I haven't experienced anything other than boredom and few moments of relaxation before the pattern catches on, so I assume it's just an idea as of now or maybe it's the pathological body which can't take the energy that comes with such freedom.