The Sacred Life

The energy transforms to human life and grows in the womb of my wife as I write. What would the child borrow from this deep vast history of humanity as its born bothers me. After all there is so much more fear, pain, greed, lust and violence in it than peace, joy and goodness. After thirty years I still can't get rid of all that content and partake in life fully. Its still a vision, figment of imagination maybe because the unreal has grown stronger with time.
           Time is a great excuse to relent and let the intensity of enquiry drop. Perhaps because it requires great attention and energy and I dissipate so much of it that I never have enough left to go through it completely. So what bothers me is would it be another lifetime spent without ever meeting the sacred.  Probably time would come to an end for the child and me at some point.
        I have paid great attention to what others have said about all this. And for the most part I haven't found any instructions and explanations to be of any use. It just adds to the chaos. Unless clarity comes from within and the content of thought and memories are seen for what they really are the sacred is distant.
             If I were to define life it would be perception, that's the difference between a stone and a man. So when one looks attentively at the bundle of memories that define a man's identity, the intricate illusion that thought and time create unravels itself. Thought and therefore time stops. Then whats left is the mass of ones body and its ablitity to percieve. In that perception everything is. And perhaps that is the sacred life.