Why does a person feel pangs of loneliness, sometimes even when surrounded by people. Is it because there is no communication or is it because one compares oneself with the flamboyant life of people who apparently are not lonely and then feels miserable about it? If it's the latter one has to watch it and end it because it's so damaging and meaningless.
However if it's the former one must try to understand why.Most conversation is repetitive and inconsequential, so it's not really verbal communication that is of much value. However one does feel that it helps communicating after a long spell of so called loneliness, it's obvious in the affect it has on the mood of a person. And one asks what is it about a conversation, a stream of thoughts originating from a person, affecting another person and bouncing back to a person. It's sort of a ping pong game. Is it one consciousness playing the game or two? Since they are invariably affected and modified by each other, they can't be separate entities. So it is just one consciousness amusing itself. Can a person invent ways to do that by himself all alone? Well he can, but he would then be officially crazy. That's what happens to people who lack human company. And for those who don't the craziness still continues in a subtle form, not surfacing until the companionship ends. Then it takes form of boredom, pain, sorrow, depression and so on depending on the level of one's attachment. So is there no other way to live than having to numb oneself continuously in some form of amusement? Aren't there moments in one's life when one feels one doesn't need anything or anyone, not even himself. Moments when one witnesses a breathtaking beauty, in the nature or is lying on a cozy bed tired after a days work with one's belly full with no future to worry about. One asks can't that be sustained and become the way of living. But the moment one tries to hold on, it vanishes and becomes a state of unease followed by desire and alternating cycles of pain and pleasure. And what's left of a man when he drops the need of everyone and everything, including people and relationships accumulated in the past. Is it any different than death, not physical death, but all of the qualities of death other than the end of the body? And then one gets frightened and goes back to one's usual life with all it's loneliness and the cover ups for it.
So the way out seems to be loose the self and die to it, so that it can't ever be separate and hence alone. And since self is a bundle of memories, thoughts and imaginations which represent the past, present and future as projected in our day to day living, they must end.
Can one do that by control, possibly one for moments, but then the unease begins again and all of them are born of it back again. So it's no better than going to a nature trip feeling great and getting back to the grind of life. I guess then there is nothing to do but to understand all this and watch oneself as one falls into these pits and eventually one learns to walk around them without falling, enjoying whatever comes one way. How much time it would take depends on how uncomfortable one is with his current life and how much energy one is ready to expend into it. For some people it's instant and some people like to hold on to themselves.
However if it's the former one must try to understand why.Most conversation is repetitive and inconsequential, so it's not really verbal communication that is of much value. However one does feel that it helps communicating after a long spell of so called loneliness, it's obvious in the affect it has on the mood of a person. And one asks what is it about a conversation, a stream of thoughts originating from a person, affecting another person and bouncing back to a person. It's sort of a ping pong game. Is it one consciousness playing the game or two? Since they are invariably affected and modified by each other, they can't be separate entities. So it is just one consciousness amusing itself. Can a person invent ways to do that by himself all alone? Well he can, but he would then be officially crazy. That's what happens to people who lack human company. And for those who don't the craziness still continues in a subtle form, not surfacing until the companionship ends. Then it takes form of boredom, pain, sorrow, depression and so on depending on the level of one's attachment. So is there no other way to live than having to numb oneself continuously in some form of amusement? Aren't there moments in one's life when one feels one doesn't need anything or anyone, not even himself. Moments when one witnesses a breathtaking beauty, in the nature or is lying on a cozy bed tired after a days work with one's belly full with no future to worry about. One asks can't that be sustained and become the way of living. But the moment one tries to hold on, it vanishes and becomes a state of unease followed by desire and alternating cycles of pain and pleasure. And what's left of a man when he drops the need of everyone and everything, including people and relationships accumulated in the past. Is it any different than death, not physical death, but all of the qualities of death other than the end of the body? And then one gets frightened and goes back to one's usual life with all it's loneliness and the cover ups for it.
So the way out seems to be loose the self and die to it, so that it can't ever be separate and hence alone. And since self is a bundle of memories, thoughts and imaginations which represent the past, present and future as projected in our day to day living, they must end.
Can one do that by control, possibly one for moments, but then the unease begins again and all of them are born of it back again. So it's no better than going to a nature trip feeling great and getting back to the grind of life. I guess then there is nothing to do but to understand all this and watch oneself as one falls into these pits and eventually one learns to walk around them without falling, enjoying whatever comes one way. How much time it would take depends on how uncomfortable one is with his current life and how much energy one is ready to expend into it. For some people it's instant and some people like to hold on to themselves.
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